


tell me it gets better

by lemonsatangs (sungjong)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-01-18
Packaged: 2018-05-14 16:16:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5749822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sungjong/pseuds/lemonsatangs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Baekhyun sees someone who hurt him in the past. Kyungsoo tries to comfort him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	tell me it gets better

**Author's Note:**

> warning: implied past abuse

Baekhyun comes home late. 

The digital clock on Kyungsoo’s bedside table flashes a red _2:48 AM_ when the front door of their shared apartment finally clicks to signal Baekhyun’s arrival. Kyungsoo is by the entrance in seconds, pausing when he notes the heavy look about Baekhyun’s shoulders, his entire body seeming to droop as a cohesive unit; head bowed, arms limp at his side as he toes off his shoes, hand holding onto a single strap of his battered backpack loosely. 

He looks up when Kyungsoo arrives, smiling weakly. “You’re still awake?”

Kyungsoo’s attention is drawn to the hollowed look gracing Baekhyun’s face, the dark circles under his eyes looking purple and bruised under the harsh fluorescent light of their kitchen. The whites of Baekhyun’s eyes are tinged pink, and there’s a slight puffiness to the reddened skin around them that makes Kyungsoo search Baekhyun’s face in concern, the slight tremble about his mouth making Kyungsoo’s stomach twist uncomfortably. 

“What happened?”

“I,” Baekhyun’s voice cracks and he hastily wipes the tear that slid down his cheek with his shirt sleeve, but another droplet falls from his eye immediately after and Baekhyun ducks his head.

Kyungsoo reaches towards him, but Baekhyun steps around him, backing away towards the hallway that leads to his room. 

“I’m just going to go to sleep. I’m tired.” Baekhyun avoids making eye contact, not wanting to see the worry evident on Kyungsoo’s face, not wanting to break down the way he knows he will if Kyungsoo touches him. 

Kyungsoo follows him to his room, staying one step behind him, knowing to keep his distance. 

Baekhyun drops his bag by the door and shrugs out of his sweater. He begins unbuckling his belt when he notices that Kyungsoo is still there, wavering at the door. Kyungsoo’s eyes are trained on the waistline of his jeans, and Baekhyun’s stomach drops. Kyungsoo notices his pause and his eyes shoot up to meet Baekhyun’s guiltily. 

Baekhyun removes his belt and lets it clatter to the floor, stepping into his closet to change into his pyjama bottoms. 

When Baekhyun returns, Kyungsoo is sitting at the edge of his bed.

"Baekhyun, please, talk to me." 

Baekhyun walks to the other side of his bed and slides under the covers, tugging weakly at the side where Kyungsoo is sitting until Kyungsoo gets up, so Baekhyun can pull the covers over his head. 

Kyungsoo sits on the floor instead. A few minutes later, he can hear Baekhyun begin to sniffle, and Kyungsoo holds his head in his hands, wanting to make Baekhyun feel better but not knowing how to do that without making it worse. 

Baekhyun takes a ragged breath and mumbles something quietly. 

Kyungsoo sits up straight and twists around, resting his hand hesitantly on Baekhyun's bed. "What was that?"

"I saw Jaesuk today," he says a little louder, voice high and strained, as if saying the name itself was painful. Kyungsoo's heart stops. "It's been 10 years since I saw him."

"Oh Baekhyun..." 

"He's married, you know? He's married and he has a son." Kyungsoo gets up to sit on the bed again, wanting to gather Baekhyun in his arms and hold him close. "He has a wife and a son," Baekhyun's voice breaks, "after what he did to me..." 

Baekhyun starts crying harder and Kyungsoo pulls the blanket off his face. Baekhyun's eyes are red and glossy, his cheeks wet and patched with pink. He stares up at Kyungsoo, anguish and shame unmistakable on his face, along with the pain of an injury that, no matter how much time had passed, refused to close up entirely.

"He gets to live a normal life, and I'm still..." The rest of Baekhyun's words are unintelligible as he begins crying in earnest, and Kyungsoo pulls him into his arms. Baekhyun's hands fist into the fabric of Kyungsoo's thick sweater and he buries his head into his stomach. His entire body shakes with each sob, and Kyungsoo pulls him closer, willing his sadness to go away, while cursing the world for letting this happen to Baekhyun, for making him meet that horrible man again, and hating that there’s nothing he could do to change it.

Kyungsoo doesn’t know how much time has passed before Baekhyun’s sobs have finally slowed. His right leg is numb and his back aches from being hunched over Baekhyun’s body for so long, but he can’t bring himself to move at all. He rubs circles onto Baekhyun’s back and smoothes out his hair until Baekhyun has stopped crying, his shaking subsiding into deep, mildly laboured breaths. Baekhyun’s expression eventually softens as Kyungsoo continues to pet his hair, mumbling quiet assurances that Baekhyun can’t clearly decipher, but the gentle tone of his voice and the soft vibrations from his chest calm him.

Baekhyun loosens his hold on Kyungsoo’s sweater moments later, and pulls away to sit up. Kyungsoo’s hand follows the movement to rest on his forearm, and he squeezes his wrist gently. 

Baekhyun sniffs hard and wipes his face with his free arm, laughing hollowly. “Sorry about that.”

“Don’t apologize,” Kyungsoo says roughly, forcing Baekhyun to look at him. “You have _nothing_ to apologize for.” 

Baekhyun tries so hard to be happy for everyone, for Kyungsoo, and it breaks his heart. His lips tremble again and Baekhyun socks him on the shoulder and bows his head. “I’m going to cry again.”

Kyungsoo cups his face with both his hands and forces Baekhyun to look at him. His brows are furrowed and his eyes start welling up once more, and Kyungsoo wants to hold him close, kiss away his tears, and assure him that no one will ever hurt him like that again, but he’s scared to touch him more than this and he’s scared that if he doesn’t go about this gently he will only make it worse.

“You never have to apologize for that, okay? You never have to apologize for what someone else did to you. It was out of your control and it was not your fault at all. That was damaging and traumatic and you do not need to apologize for being hurt by it.”

Baekhyun whimpers, tears sliding down his cheeks again. “I’m such a mess, Kyungsoo.” 

Kyungsoo shakes his head firmly, wiping Baekhyun’s cheek with his thumb and resting his hands on his shoulders. “You’re strong, Baekhyun. You’re so strong. You survived something traumatic and you’re here and you’re alive and you’re existing in spite of all the voices that are telling you not to.” Baekhyun clenches his eyes shut and Kyungsoo’s voice breaks. “Look at how far you’ve come.”

“But I’m still--”

“When something hurts you to that extent it’s natural for these feelings to come back. You just got such a strong reminder and it’s okay to deal with how you’re feeling in whatever way you have to.”

Baekhyun searches Kyungsoo’s eyes for any sign that his words were less than sincere, and when he doesn’t find anything he drops his head against Kyungsoo’s chest and deflates.

“I just want to be better.” 

Kyungsoo holds him tight, rubbing small circles on his back with the palm of his hand. He tries to channel how much he cares about Baekhyun through his embrace, wishes Baekhyun could understand how proud he is of him and everything he is. He lets Baekhyun cry for as long as he needs to, and continues to try and reassure him as much as he can. When Baekhyun has quieted, Kyungsoo gently sets him back down on his bed, tucking the covers around him and brushing his hair from his forehead. He lies down beside him, on top of the covers, and curls his hand around Baekhyun’s wrist. He doesn’t leave his side all night.

“You’re okay, Baekhyun,” he whispers, before drifting off, himself. “You’ll be okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> unbeta'ed.  
> sometimes it takes a long time to recover from something that has seriously hurt you and that's okay.
> 
> P.S. Jaesuk is not in reference to any celebrity or idol, I merely borrowed the name.


End file.
